AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[doubleppk]

aldkjaslkjdalkjdslkjadlakjslkjd

Gnome.

Attacked me.

DAMN IT! I told them it was dangerous but did they listen!?!? NO! FUCK. Why couldn't they take it with them?!?! SOMEONE HELP!

I'm in the closet.


... In other news. We have a helicoptor?!? WHAT?! Does ANYONE here know when/how we got it? The notes say it's in disrepair. I'll have to take a look at this. When the fucking creepy gnome with a KNIFE isn't trying to chop my head off!

Lawn gnomes are evil. Anyone not on the sub know about this? Or how to get rid of it??? Or something?!?!

Comments

[turnipsmeister.livejournal.com]

Oh? Obviously you're not doing it right. Take my second cousin six times removed for example, uncle Simon is forever saving the world, but I've told him countless times that his "Buggy the Friendly Balor" costume just isn't appropriate.

[doubleppk]

What?

And... yeah I probably wasn't. It's a long story. More like had to do it or die kind of deal.

[turnipsmeister.livejournal.com]

A Balor? Oh, you probably don't know much about planar lore. A Balor is a huge flamey monstrosity that drips blood and torments turnips for fun! Anyway saving the world is often do or die, because quite often the person taking over the world wants to destroy it. Take auntie Edna for instance, her pet plan to take over the world with an army of giant stick insects was just so she could destroy it all and claim on the insurance afterwards.

[doubleppk]

Giant stick insects... but if there was no one left who would she collect insurance from? For that matter, who insures against giant stick insects taking over the world?

[turnipsmeister.livejournal.com]

Oh that would be grandpa Yoric. Very big gnome in the insurance business is my grandpa.

[doubleppk]

Okay. Is he married to Edna by any chance?

[turnipsmeister.livejournal.com]

N-o, what relationship do your auntie and grandpa have? Oh well wait a moment, there was my grandma Isabella who through no fault of her own miscast a timestop spell and got pregnant with her own father, brother AND husband. We all had headaches over birthdays after that.

[doubleppk]

Okay...

I'm confusd again. But sure.

[turnipsmeister.livejournal.com]

People say that a lot, sometimes I wonder if they don't like my stories.

[doubleppk]

No! I like them! The stuff about the timestop spell and having her own father and husband was confusing since who was the fathers of everyone and why and then I realized I didn't want to think that much on it because it delves into skeevy territory.

[turnipsmeister.livejournal.com]

Oh well we don't talk about him much, to tell you the truth it was a bit of a scandal; him being a tax clerk and all.

[doubleppk]

Ah but of course. Those evil tax clerks.

[turnipsmeister.livejournal.com]

Turnip hating scum.

[doubleppk]

Right. That. Could there be anything worse?

[turnipsmeister.livejournal.com]

Hmph, tax men wearing beige plaid.

[doubleppk]

Fiends.

[turnipsmeister.livejournal.com]

Not just tax men, but tax men who are boring to look at.

[doubleppk]

Indeed.