doubleppk | [Open-ish Log]

Who: Fujiko, Gokudera, possibly others who run into Fujiko (sub, Vongola, Roxas, or people with a reason to be there only please)
Where: Sub to Vongola.
What: Fujiko's smoking a cigarette and helping Gokudera who got his hand trapped.
When: After her date with Havoc, before picking up Lupin (Valentine's Night)
Why: She's emotional
Rating: PG-13 for language and Gokudera/Fujiko's respective tempers

Fujiko needed a cigarette break and now. The post was mortifying although she felt she was doing a decent job covering up the embarrassment. On the other hand, Havoc had managed to disarm all of the traps to her room, sneak in that morning and wake her up with a smile on his face. He'd gotten a boxing glove trap to the face for it, but when she realized it was Havoc and not Lupin they talked. She mentioned Lupin showing up at dinner and he hadn't been thrilled, but he wasn't saying much of what he thought of it.

She need a reality check. Her adopted little brother, however much he hated it. And that meant seeking out Gokudera. Where the hell was he anyway?

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Lupin sat down--well, more like slumped, as seeing her and being injured all at once was really too much for his little ol' heart to take. He continued to smile like the impish wolf he kept at bay.

"Ah, I lied to you?"

He looked up toward the sky, a look of curiosity on his face. His memory was pretty hazy at the moment, though he recalled telling her about diamonds. His head snapped back toward her.

"Ah, right! The diamonds." He grabbed the end of his jacket and folded it inside out, letting random gems and jewels and trinkets clatter to the ground in a little sparkling pile. "They aren't as great as back home, but for pirates they did all right for themselves..."

He winked.

"You're more injured than you said you were," Fujiko objected, but was easily distracted by the gems. She pounced the gems on the ground, scooping them up and filing them away to look at later. Gently brushing a hand against his cheek she sat him down more. "Ah... we have a nurse. But not really a doctor. And she's an alien. But... maybe I should take you to her?"

Lupin straightened up, somehow even enjoying the fact that she was scooping up gems like usual. He always loved a girl's love for diamonds, namely her's. But it definitely wasn't the time for that. Her face was now a fuzzy palette of colors, moving slower than he recalled. The breeze was cool, but he was hot all over.

A softer, less determined look took over his face, struggling past a sudden pounding pain in his side. Oh, the drugs were wearing off. It was worse than he thought.

"That's... probably a good idea..."

Before he could elaborate, he was already sailing sideways and hitting the ground hard, hard enough to make him even more senseless. He hated that moment right before unconsciousness, where you think 'shit, this is the worst'. Of course, his wounds were doing all the talking for him.

Fever. Hot. Shit. He should've paid more attention to Goemon.

He closed his eyes and passed out.

"LUPIN!" Fujiko yelped in a panic. Even with her strength, carrying him wasn't going to be easy. She yelled for help, refusing to leave his side while he was unconscious and likely to get even more hurt. She tugged him in the doorway and got someone's attention to help.

Yup, their timing never would be right.

As she dragged him, he felt his conscious jerk every which way, like a camera that lacked focus. He could barely comprehend himself, but the words were withheld for so long, they had to be spoken.

"If you didn't want me anymore..." he gasped, "You should've told me--!!" Another heavy gasp, as the wounds tore and burned. She was gentle, but no level of gentleness could withstand such shoddy stitch-work. "If you loved someone else, I wouldn't have been upset... I would have been... happy for you...!! I don't want to ruin your fate--I just wanted... To see you again--"

His body quivered from pain.

"Lupin...." Fujiko trembled. She had so little resistance against his charms to begin with, when he was being injured and genuinely nice, it only became that much more difficult. "Shut up idiot," she growled, putting on a brave face and biting her lower lip, "You'll get sicker." She started taking a look at his bandages and going through the meds she had on her. Not many, but there was a first aid kit close enough to them. "I'm not saying I'm in love... I just... It's a long story. I need to find out what's real about him. Go to sleep."

He reached out and grabbed her arm, a pained but determined look on his face; all this time, he hoped to see her, to tell her that he wasn't just avoiding her on purpose, but his fever was so strong that he didn't know how to phrase it. Suddenly, a ping of controlled thought.

"It's not fair... that you assume I'd just left you behind like that...!! A-and then... you talk like you... never wanted to see me again in the first place...! So... frustrating..."

After a ragged breath, "You weren't the only one who felt alone--!"

"Lupin..." she almost wanted to cry. "Every time I tell you not to look for me, you do it anyway. When I want you around you never are. Even if I said I loved you now..." her heart felt like it was breaking. "You'd run away," she mumbled softly, turning her back on him and staring out at the ocean. "Or maybe I would. Doesn't matter much, does it?" She shook her head. Why couldn't they just once say they loved each other without one of them dying? "You'll find someone else," she choked bitterly, "Because you always do." Because they couldn't be honest ever. Because they couldn't get their act together. Because even if she loved him he broke her heart without meaning to.

Lupin closed his eyes, fighting to stay awake. He couldn't pass out now, after finally trying to speak with her, without the sex appeal and the uncontrollable passion. He liked having this one moment where neither of those weaknesses could rain on their parades.

"Every time I found someone else..." he said, his body growing more slack with time. "...I just saw you."

The hand that gripped her wrist firmly loosened and quivered, as if he tried to bring back the strength his arm had previously possessed. Instead he released her and let it fall to his side.

"...I guess I'm just a love-sick puppy..."

He closed his eyes.

"... I can't... lose... anymore..."

And, dammit,

he was gone again.

"Idiot..." Fujiko mumbled softly, sadly. Lose what more? Lupin usually cam out fairly on top for him. "If you lose me, I was already gone..." If? There shouldn't really be a question involved. She didn't want to run off to another man and still pine over Lupin, a might have been, a could be, a someday if only things were different.

The memories with Havoc were fake. The times she'd been rescued by him were actually times Lupin had rescued her. Running off to bust him out of prison, that was Lupin too. But with Parker, it was never about the fake memories for her. Nor him. It was about who he was. A different kind of might be. Even if she thought Lupin wouldn't run on her or that she wouldn't run on him how much could it really mean if they still hadn't gotten it to work after all these years.

She waited for help and tended his wounds best he could. However cowardly it was, Fujiko's back wasn't to a wall, she was running away. But for tonight, she'd tend his wounds.

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