doubleppk | [Accidental Video Post.]

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[Accidental Video Post.]

[You see the back of Fujiko, standing there looking out at the ocean. She's sitting on top of the submarine, looking at the ocean and feeding crackers to seagulls.]

Such a mess... Why couldn't this just have been a year ago? I've been here more than a year and he never shows up with good timing. [More bitter tossing crackers and she's looking off at the waves.] I decided to forget you. I guess that isn't really allowed is it? [Dark laugh and she curls up on herself and starts singing.]

What now? [Leans back to look up at the birds.] What now? I hate fate.

[A seagull hops into view eyeballing the laptop and hopping around on it until she calls it over with a soft cooing noise so she can stroke it and the feed cuts out.]

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I don't even know if he'd care! First thing he when he got here was flirt with Robin! HE NEVER CHANGES. And alskjdalksj fine. Not like I expect any different, he'll ALWAYS be that way.

But he shows up now of all things and I don't even KNOW what I'm doing with Havoc. I want to run away, but I don't...

Nothing I choose works.

You are talking about a man whom has rescued you time and time again, whom has often put you before Jigen and myself, you before his own life, and whom still smiles despite the fact that he has no doubt seen how you have often painted us here as your enemies. You do not realize how fortunate you are that he has cut you slack when he shouldn't have, and perhaps, even when he knew better, deep inside.

And in spite of this, you believe on account of his old habits that he cares any less about you, now??

I've been here a year. A whole fucking year pining and just refusing to get close to anyone thinking he'd come and that no one could ever be better than him. I finally reach a point where I don't just...

Every time I ran somewhere he found me. No matter how much I didn't want him to. I spent the whole year thinking he'd come. Only when I figured he'd given up on me does he show up. And isn't that JUST my luck?

Yes.

I'm mad. I don't care that it's not his fault. He's not the one who sat here looking at the ocean worrying about whether he was hurt or dying or just... with someone else and all it ever does is more pain.

I don't want to love him.
I just... I didn't miss him.

Edited 2010-02-15 02:44 (UTC)

... There is not always a happy solution to every problem, Fujiko-dono, but, there is a solution, regardless. You know what it is you must do. Do not put me in the position where I am forced to tell him myself.

What do you want me to tell him? That I'm in love with him and just because he showed up I'm second-guessing the one real chance this year I was willing to take towards trying to grow up and find... something else. Something other than letting him always turn my life upside down. And for what? To continue the same way we ALWAYS do? Because it's safe? Frustrating, but at least safe and familiar? That I'm not really in love with this other guy but I know I could be. That this other guy DOES love me even though fuck if I know why because we all know I'm a little too messed up to deserve it.

I don't even know what to do Goemon. I thought... I thought I could just try to forget him. See what was even REAL with Havoc. I... Lupin never understood... so many things. Never will. But I'm just supposed to tell him that doesn't bother me?

As far as I am aware, "continuing the same way we always do" involves Lupin entertaining fantasies of marriage, while you cheat him of his spoils and leave him smiling helplessly, hoping still that he may win you despite how you ruthlessly tease him. Chances are, he is not even aware that the role you assumed was frustrating to you.

No. You are supposed to search inside yourself and make your mind as to which path you will walk, before you end up far deeper in over your head. And when you have come to your decision, you will approach him, and speak to him without guile and infantile games.

He's at sea on a raft alone with a giant bird trying to steal his laptop. I can't leave him there. I'll talk to my... crew and have them help me work out... what to do with him.

What will you do now?

I see that you mean to set out and find him. As I have no means of transportation at this hour and little sense of where he may be, I have no choice but to spend the night here. My 'contract' ends as of tomorrow morning, in any case.

Fine. He can stay on the Vongola while I work out... what to do.

I don't know why I bother.

I imagine you do.

In any case, you are admittedly far better equipped to tend to the situation. ~~It would be reckless and foolish for me to make off with a boat and to row far from town in search of a man in the middle of the sea.~~

Would you like me to come get you too sometime tomorrow? You can have a little reunion and I'll go somewhere else.

Mn.

Very well.

Tch. Fine. All it needs now is Jigen. Of course I could always go and get Pops for you guys. <3

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