Dream Meme

[doubleppk]

Okay so Crocodile and I got in a debate about having goals/unattainable quests/missions/whatever. And I've been curious about this for awhile and like Liet said, things are really slow on this ship right now. So dream meme.


1. Do you have an ultimate goal/dream?
a) If yes, what is this?
b) If you don't want to tell people, why not?
2. What is it you want right now/within the next month or so?
3. What would it take for you to achieve your ultimate dream?
a) What would it take for you to obtain what you want right now?
4. Do you want other people to be involved in this dream?
a) Who and/or why them/why not?
5. Did you have a different dream when you were younger?
a) What was it?
b) What made it change?
c) If you could do it now, would you?
6. How much closer are you to acheiving your goal from 6 months ago?

Liars are going to get their butt kicked by Nami. Because she's awesome like that.

Comments

[doubleppk]

They weren't weird! They were perfectly normal! Hell my objectives ever since I gave up on my goals are a lot weirder. A LOT weirder.

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

Yeah? What were they?

ooc: pfft she is so not over it

[doubleppk]

...

Well for awhile I wanted to be a cop. And a marine. And when I was REALLY young and stupid I wanted to be a singer. But that was beyond stupid. And then I realized life doesn't work that way and got over it.

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

What do you mean, life doesn't work that way? There's a ton of people who are cops and marines and singers. You could be all three.

[doubleppk]

No. Not anymore I can't. I tried. And got exiled, used, shot, and kicked out for my troubles. Not worth it.

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

Sure, you got exiled here. It's the Grand Line. You can become whatever you want here.

[doubleppk]

Yeah well I don't think I want to be a cop or a marine anymore. For awhile I thought I did because you're right, here I could be whatever I wanted but if I was a marine I wouldn't get to spend as much time with Jyabura or the people in this crew that I like.

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

Could still be a singer.

[doubleppk]

...

Who said I want to?

There's a reason I didn't do that either you know. They don't exile you or anything just...

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

You said you want to.

Just what?

[doubleppk]

I said I wanted to. Not necessarily that I still do. I wanted to when I was young and stupid and didn't know better. I know better now.

Tch. I just... things... you don't just decide I want to be a singer and make it happen. I mean yeah you can sing wherever whenever but I mean professionally. You can't just perform for a crowd or get a record contract just because you want it.

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

I just decided I'm gonna to be pirate king, and I'm making it happen. Is being a singer really that much harder?

[doubleppk]

I wouldn't say it's harder. Just really different.

If someone had said "You can't be a singer you're not good enough," I wouldn't have listened just kept trying. What they didn't tell me was that it wasn't about having talent or luck or being smart. It was about sacrificing everything to get it. Self-respect, reputation... myself. And I didn't have much of that to begin with. But I figured if I lost those too, then even if I did become a singer, then it wouldn't be worth anything to me. Make sense?

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

Nope, that doesn't make sense at all. Why would you have to sacrifice all those things to be a singer? Just sing. Find the hiring people and sing to them. Sing a lot! That should get you there someday.

[doubleppk]

I don't care about being a singer anymore. I don't want to. Besides what would I get out of it? It'd take more money just to try then I would ever make.

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

Huh? What does money have to do with dreams? Unless you're Nami, but you're not.

[doubleppk]

Not just money. There's no profit. It's not worth it. If the intrinsic value is to make me happy and so far trying to sing professionally has only made me miserable than it would owe me a ton of back-pay just to make up for everything that's already happened. I'd probably just be happier NOT trying to sing professionally at all.

You're happy trying to be pirate king whether you make it or not, right? And you don't have to ask things like "What if I had to sacrifice my nakama to do it?" because you're lucky and being a good captain means you already know what that answer would be. But there's things I value more than just what being a singer could bring me. Things that aren't worth losing for that.

So I guess you're right. Being a singer was a stupid goal. And that's why I don't have any dreams anymore.

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

But if being a singer is your dream, then why wouldn't it make you happy just to try for it? Chasing your goal is part of the payback, so I don't get how it made you miserable before.

[doubleppk]

I don't know. Maybe it just wasn't a strong enough goal? I mean if I wanted it enough I should have been willing to sacrifice more right? But I wasn't so maybe that's why.

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

If you really wanted it, you would've gone for it. Dreams are like that.

[doubleppk]

So then maybe I didn't really ever have dreams? Because if I did, I'd still want to chase them no matter what, right?

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

I know I would! But some people need a push for some reason.

[doubleppk]

It's not that I need a push, it was a stupid dream I had when I was too young and dumb to know any better. I didn't know that in order to keep a record contract you had to have sex with the producer, or that being famous was about getting into magazines as a sex icon instead of actually singing and I don't want that. I didn't know that just because you get an agent or a manager doesn't mean he isn't just using you to make money until you go off and yell at the people in charge and then he tries to sell you the first chance he gets to the yakuza.

I know better now.

Not that any of that happened to me. Just other girls. You know.

[king-rubber.livejournal.com]

What are you talking about? If you don't wanna have sex with the producer, then just make it your dream to be a singer without doing all that. Don't you think you can do it?

[doubleppk]

Not really. Once an agent leaves you, no one will hire you or even audition you for a record contract. It's kind of like having just the music career portion of you die.