I know... I know I don't... have to... as much... It's just...
I mean I never really had but it was the only way that was safe? Any time anyone else got involved things backfired insanely. And... and just before I left Lupin, like a year before I came here I thought at the time maybe it was because I tried to keep them from getting involved and they ALWAYS did and then it backfired. So I thought if I included them ahead of time then maybe it wouldn't fuck up. Only OF COURSE it did and that's when I really gave up on him...
It's not... I'm not saying... this is bad. I mean... I am but... *sigh*
I LIKE hanging out with you. I mean... I do. I enjoy it. It's really fun. I've NEVER had fun doing these kinds of... I mean I have. But it was like ugh... I like fishing and it's more fun NOT alone but Lupin never did it without Jigen and Jigen always tried to get rid of me if he could and here people... they don't tell me not to join in... they ask me to... and that's really... I really really like that. I've never had that before but I LIKE it. And that's what scares me ok? I mean it's not being around them in the first place, it's just... what if I get soft or something?
I dunno it just... I was trying to run away... and I didn't want to and so I let you not let me... and I'm glad... but it makes me confused... because what if I want to run away in the futrue and I can't? And I shouldn't... right now at least... but what if in the future I have to?
Re: Private because I CAN
I mean I never really had but it was the only way that was safe? Any time anyone else got involved things backfired insanely. And... and just before I left Lupin, like a year before I came here I thought at the time maybe it was because I tried to keep them from getting involved and they ALWAYS did and then it backfired. So I thought if I included them ahead of time then maybe it wouldn't fuck up. Only OF COURSE it did and that's when I really gave up on him...
It's not... I'm not saying... this is bad. I mean... I am but... *sigh*
I LIKE hanging out with you. I mean... I do. I enjoy it. It's really fun. I've NEVER had fun doing these kinds of... I mean I have. But it was like ugh... I like fishing and it's more fun NOT alone but Lupin never did it without Jigen and Jigen always tried to get rid of me if he could and here people... they don't tell me not to join in... they ask me to... and that's really... I really really like that. I've never had that before but I LIKE it. And that's what scares me ok? I mean it's not being around them in the first place, it's just... what if I get soft or something?
I dunno it just... I was trying to run away... and I didn't want to and so I let you not let me... and I'm glad... but it makes me confused... because what if I want to run away in the futrue and I can't? And I shouldn't... right now at least... but what if in the future I have to?